Wednesday, May 30, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Trading Places



They don't make 'em like this anymore ...
This is the only still from the film I could find by the way.

The View From My Living Room Window

Marge Simpson interview




This month's Sky magazine has an exclusive interview with Marge to celebrate the broadcast of the upcoming 400th episode. Click to make large.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Brewster's Millions



One of my all time favourites, as is Trading Places. Check out my profile.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Monday, May 28, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - The Parent Trap



The 1990's remake, and fair dos it's watchable. Lovely Lohan before she went off the rails.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Ocean's Eleven



A jolly good caper. Looking forward to the new one.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Father Of The Bride Part 2



Enjoyable I suppose. I miss old school Steve Martin.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Airplane



Very good and funny. Avoid the sequel.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Patriot Games

Better than Clear And Present Danger, worse than The Fugitive.

Rhombus In Hair Net Shock

Click on the labels below for more Rhombus news and pics.

Raindance

Raindance presents:
Christopher Vogler's
The Writer's Journey


9.30-6pm Saturday/Sunday 9/10 June 2007
Greetings!

I'm writing to tell you we still have a few places left on The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structures for Screenwriters and Storytellers Mythic Structures for Screenwriters and Storytellers in London this June 9th and 10th.

The Writer's Journey, Christopher Vogler's book, has become a cornerstone of modern screenwriting theory. One of the most popular books on writing of the last fifty years, it has sold over 170 000 copies and has been translated into eight languages. His courses and book have influenced many many writers, producers, directors and stars, including: John Lee Hancock (THE ALAMO, MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL, A PERFECT WORLD), Ron Howard (A BEAUTIFUL MIND, APOLLO 13, PARENTHOOD), Mel Gibson (BRAVEHEART, APOCALYPTO, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST), Roland Emmerich (INDEPENDENCE DAY, GODZILLA), Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio (SHREK, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN) and Darren Aronofsky (PI, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM).

In addition, Christopher Vogler has himself worked on countless feature film projects as a consultant, writer and producer, including FIGHT CLUB, THE LION KING, SPIDERMAN, THE THIN RED LINE, COURAGE UNDER FIRE, SUPERMAN, ANNA AND THE KING, THE LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN and HERCULES. He has also been a development executive at 20th Century Fox and worked as a story analyst for United Artists, Orion Pictures, The Ladd Company, Paramount, MGM, Warner Bros and Disney.

We have been trying for some time now to bring Chris over again. We have finally succeeded...but he has told us that he will not be able to return in either 2007 or 2008. If you miss him this time, can you afford to put your writing career on hold until 2009?

Chris' techniques are essential to scriptwriters of all levels, from beginner to professional, as can be seen from this short article he has written for us.

Read a snippet below:

ChrisVogler
Snippet:

A scene is a business deal. It may not involve money but it will always involve some change in the contract between characters or in the balance of power.

It's a transaction, in which two or more people enter with one kind of deal between them, and negotiate or battle until a new deal has been cut, at which point the scene should end. It could be the reversal of a power structure. The underdog seizes power by blackmail.

Or it could be the forging of a new alliance or enmity. Two people who hated each other make a new deal to work together in a threatening situation.

A boy asks a girl out and she accepts or rejects his offer.

Two gangsters make an alliance to rub out a rival.

A mob forces a sheriff to turn a man over for lynching.

The meat of the scene is the negotiation to arrive at the new deal, and when the deal is cut, the scene is over, period. If there's no new deal, it's not a scene, or at least it's not a scene that's pulling its weight in the script. It's a candidate either for cutting or for rewriting to include some significant exchange of power.

Want to read more? Email Chris Vogler@raindance.co.uk yourself


What they say about Christopher Vogler:
"It's like having the smartest person in the story meeting come home with you and whisper what to do in your ear as you write a screenplay. Insight for insight, step for step, Chris Vogler takes us through the process of connecting theme to story and making a script come alive."
- Lynda Obst, Producer, Sleepless in Seattle, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Author, Hello, He Lied

"Vogler is about the stories we write, and perhaps more importantly, the stories we live. It is the most influential work I have yet encountered on the art, nature, and the very purpose of storytelling."
- Bruce Joel Rubin, Screenwriter, Stuart Little 2, Deep Impact, Ghost, Jacob's Ladder

"The Writer's Journey should be on anyone's bookshelf who cares about the art of storytelling at the movies. Not just some theoretical tome filled with development cliches of the day, this book offers sound and practical advice on how to construct a story that works"
- David Friendly, Producer, Daylight, Courage Under Fire, Out To See, My Girl

"A classic of its kind full of insight and inspiration that every writer, both amateur and professional, must read"
- Richard D. Zanuck, The Zanuck Company, Driving Miss Daisy, Cocoon, The Verdict, Sting

"One of the most valuable tools in understanding and appreciating the structure of a plot that's available today. The Writer's Journey is an essential tool to any writer at any stage of their career"
- Debbie Macomber, Best-selling author, 42 million books in print, Author of Montana

"A seven-page memo by Christopher Vogler is now the stuff of Hollywood legend.The idea o f a "mythic structure"has been quickly accepted by Hollywood, and Vogler's book now graces the bookshelves of many studio heads"
- The Times, 1994



UniversityOfWestminster
The Writer's Journey
takes place on Saturday and Sunday 9th/10th June from 9.30-6pm each day. The registration cost is £250 + VAT = £293.75

Book online here

The course is taking place at the Large Lecture Theatre, Cavendish Campus, University of Westminster, 115 New Cavendish St, London, W1W 6UW. The closest tube stations are Goodge St and Warren St.


Topics covered include:
- New maps of story structure for a changing audience
- New concepts for troubleshooting story, character and structure
- How to create strong identification in the beginning
- How to survive the minefields of the middle
- How to build to a dramatically satisfying ending
- Developing literary works into coherent movies
- Creating broad appeal
- Weaving theme, psychological depth and a sense of meaning
- Common structural elements
- Myths, fairy tales, dreams and movies
- Archetypes in 'the hero's journey'
- The mythic structure that all stories follow
- Typological character study
- The stages of the journey through which the hero passes

Full details here.


Raindance takes screenwriting seriously. Christopher Vogler is an undisputed master of the craft of screenwriting and storytelling. Learn with a master. Call me on 0207 287 3833 to book your place.
Best,

Will Pearce
Raindance Festivals Limited

DISCOUNTS
- Ask about our special repeater fee (-50%) if you have taken this course before and would like a refresher
- Ask about our Group Booking discount for 3+ students
- Members of Raindance get a 15% discount.
- Students, OAP's and UB40's 10% discount
- our out-of-town discount is 10%

Discounts cannot be combined.

Check out Raindance courses
here...



The Raindance Guarantee
Try any course at Raindance and discover that the course isn't for you, just make yourself known to a member of Raindance for a no-questions asked refund.

The fine print:
Refund requests only accepted until the first break on a weeknight course, and lunch-time on a weekend course.

More about Raindance...

Since 1992 Raindance has been offering advice and support for independent fimmakers. We started the Raindance Film Festival in 1993, and the British Independent Film Awards in 1998. We also have a training programme that has had remarkable success. And all this without public funding. Presently there are nine of us working out of our office in Soho, London. Although we are London-based we are on the look-out for anyone who might like to work with us in another city or country.

We are always looking for new ideas, or your stories about your movie.

To contact us, try 44 (0)202 7287 3833, or send an email to info@raindance.co.uk

Friday, May 25, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Hudson Hawk



Well, it's as enjoyable as The Da Vinci Code.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

BitchPop

>> La la land <<
Michelle fights some weighty foes

Eastenders' Michelle Ryan scores the lead role
in the re-make of the Bionic Woman. The show is
much praised and secures a prime-time run on NBC.
In the show Michelle is a super-fit tennis pro,
who gets a $50 million bionic body after a sky-
diving accident, which gives her super-strength.

Executives from other networks and at least one
top casting agent have been heard gossiping this
week about Michelle's "massive weight problem".
Because, of course, a sportswoman should look just
like Nicole Richie. Women just can't win in LA.


-----------------------------------------------------
Guy Ritchie is back to what he knows best - making
another gangster movie. Working title: Rock n Roller.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Hello sailor <<
US investors meet Winehouse

Universal music's parent company Vivendi wrote
to investors about their new artists. This is
how they introduced Amy Winehouse to US
shareholders and financial institutions:

"Everything about Amy Winehouse seems larger
than life. The petite singer has a voice like
Billie Holiday and old-style sailor tattoos."


-----------------------------------------------------
The Sun and The Daily Mirror websites are blocked
from viewing in Sudan. (So their government is
not all bad, then...)
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
What people want to know this week

Before his career really took off this US
TV actor was a Grade A gakhead and boozer.
You could almost say "cheers" was his favourite
word. An ex-girlfriend of his confided to us
about one night back in the 80s. She got to
put on a strap-on, take the comedy star up the
arse and then have the joy of doing coke
off his bald spot. Wonder what a psychiatrist
would say about that?

Which Ministry of Sound Records executive
was seen getting off with a ladyboy in
Bangkok. He claims he didn't know...


-----------------------------------------------------
RIP Rod Poole. Swervedriver's guitarist killed
in LA in a vicious road rage attack.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Loose lips <<
Pete Burns needs help

Pete Burns held interviews last weekend for a
new reality TV Series, "Pete's PA". People were
auditioned to be his personal assistant.
(Replacement for a similar vehicle starring
Jade Goody).

Popbitch reader NaiveLondonGirl went along.
"Only about 50 people showed up. I told Pete I
wanted to work with someone who's lips were
bigger than mine.

"'Which lips'? He replied."

She doesn't think she got the job.


-----------------------------------------------------
The Deputy Headmaster of Coombe Boys School, Surrey,
is called... Mr Fidler.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Stately homo <<
Limahl has surgery, gets man

Congratulations to Limahl, who is about to
get hitched to his partner of 14 years, Steve.
During that time Limahl has had surgery on
his upper and lower eyelids, a full chemical
peel, fat injected from his body into his
face, and his eyes done for the second time.
No wonder Steve doesn't feel the need for
a new man, he's got one. Boom-boom.


FYI: Limahl is a member of English Heritage and
the National Trust. He says he never leaves home
without his guide to stately homes, just in
case he can squeeze in a quick visit.

FYI 2: Limahl is writing for and producing (with
Ian Curnow) a band called Switch 22. We like
1985 - its very 5ive:
http://www.myspace.com/switch22home


-----------------------------------------------------
Loaded's front cover has Pam Anderson and Borat
"Together at last!" Or in fact a 2004 shot of Pam and
a press shot of Borat inexpertly spliced together.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Teddy gets his cards? <<
Soccer mystery may be solved

Another football season ends. All the gossip,
scandal and sleaze will no doubt be back
again in a couple of months. There was one
question we've been wondering about... where
was Teddy Sheringham during West Ham's
do-or-die fight to avoid relegation?

A West Ham insider claims he knows. The story
goes that on Alan Curbishley's first away game
as manager Sheringham sat on the team bus playing
cards for money with some of the younger members
of the team. He cleaned most of them out,
one for at least 20 grand. Curbishley is said to
have told Teddy to cancel all the bets, or he'd
never play for the Hammers again. Looking at the
young, lippy, Bentley-owning, non-entities...
Sheringham refused.


-----------------------------------------------------
Last year America made arms deals with $21 billion.
A new world record. In second place was UK, with
$4.8bn, including to 19/20 countries whose human
rights records our foreign office say is "of concern".
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Naked ambition <<
Gok gets body of his dreams

Drama queen writes:
"I went to Drama School with Gok from How to
Look Good Naked. He was hilarious. I liked
him a lot. But he was always crash dieting.

"His favoured methods for losing weight were
The Tenko Diet (three cups of boiled rice per
day) and The Speedy Granny Diet (apples and
copious amounts of speed)."


-----------------------------------------------------
First celebrity ligger to phone for free VIP
tickets to V Festival? Michelle Dewberry,
from The Apprentice.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> The Brits aren't coming <<
America fails to love our telly

Everyone's getting over-excited about how
well British TV is doing in the States
since The Office got remade and the IT
Crowd got a small mid-season pick-up.
Yet, maybe the real story is, how badly
UK shows have done this summer re-made as
US pilots. Life On Mars, Footballers'
Wives, The Thick Of It, I'm With Stupid
and The Vicar of Dibley all failed to
get picked up by a network. One UK drama
did buck the trend... Wild At Heart,
ITV's unfashionable series about a
suburban vet and family, who move to Africa.


FYI: US shows aren't faring much better with UK TV
people currently watching new show screenings in LA.
Only two shows get the thumbs up so far: K Ville,
a police drama in post-Katrina New Orleans and
Dirty Sexy Money.


-----------------------------------------------------
Paul Wolfowitz hasn't just lost his job at World Bank.
It seems as if his girlfriend (whose promotion and
pay-rise got Wolfie the boot) has dumped him.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> The man who kills pilots <<
And no planes or twin towers involved

Jonathan Cake is a good and successful British
actor in LA... with one big problem. Whichever
pilot he appears in crashes and burns.

His shows from the last couple of years included
Inconceivable (ER-like drama about a fertility
clinic which lasted two episodes), Six Degrees
(cancelled and replaced by re-runs of Wife Swap),
American Embassy (lasted three episodes) and Empire
(a big budget disappointment, but did also star
Trudie Styler).

One of this summer's much-hyped new shows was
CBS's Mastersons of Manhattan. But even with
Friends' director James Burrows helming and
the wonderful Molly Shannon starring, the Cake
Curse struck again. The pilot was not picked
up by the network. Maybe next year, Jonathan.


-----------------------------------------------------
Bez was treated in Wythenshawe Hospital, Manchester,
for a stab wound from a domestic incident. (He's a
regular patient, e.g. celebrating the Happy Monday's
reunion tour by setting his own head on fire.)
-----------------------------------------------------


>> It's a fair cop <<
Boys in blue live up to name

Welsh PC Richard Bowen is on trial accused
of masturbating into his handkerchief in front of
a female suspect during a 240 mile journey in a
squad car.. twice. Bowen's defence? He "knocked
one out" before staring work. And put his hankie
back in his pocket because he was "running late".

While across the Atlantic, Tennessee state trooper
Randy Moss has been suspended for letting a porn
star off drug charges in return for a blow-job
in some bushes, after he pulled her over for
speeding. Barbie Cummings wrote it up on her blog,
along with some photos of the act he let her take.


-----------------------------------------------------
Nick Carter has recently been appointed Special
Ambassador for the Year of the Dolphin by the UN.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Things that make you go hmmm <<
Stoning, toilet humour, big pussy

Rambo IV trailer - we haven't laughed so much
in weeks. (And yes, its is Darla he goes to save)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE8Zukeb6bQ

17 year-old Iraqi woman Duaa Khalil Aswad's fell
in love with a boy from another religion. Seem
fair, then, that her male relatives stone her
to death? Someone videoed it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4I0hGu2AEw

Chuck Palahnuik has a new book out - Rant.
For more info, and to play Rant game:
http://www.randomhouse.co.uk/rant/index.html?site=popbitch

Fancy dress = child abuse:
http://tinyurl.com/25bav7

Easy Bank Holiday reading - Topped Of The Pops.
X Factory-style contestants and judges come to
very grisly ends. We love what happens
to their Simon Cowell.
http://www.adammacqueen.com

Last week we told you about Orange's awesome
Spot The Bull contest to win Glastonbury tickets.
To recap: there's a bull in a field. Predict
where in the field he'll be standing and win.
You can't beat a bit of bully:
http://snipurl.com/1lv4e

Is this the fattest cat you've seen?
http://www.popbitch.com/pictures

Smiley Face Acid House t-Shirts and dresses
for boys and girls by Religion Clothing. Get
sorted this summer in Retro Madchester gear:
http://www.discoo.co.uk/smiley-face-s43.html


*****************************************************
Steven Gerrard somehow found the time this week to
get his lawyers to write us a rather pompous
letter. They make a fair point though. We're told
he isn't buying the house we linked him to last week.
Sorry about that Steven: the new neighbours you won't
be having are gutted as you're a local hero.
(P.S. you might want to point out to your lawyers that
your name is spelled "Gerrard" not "Gerard".)
*****************************************************


>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 27th May

++ Number One
MAROON 5 Makes Me Wonder

++ Top Ten
RHIANNA Umbrella

++ Top Twenty
PIGEON DETECTIVES I'm Not Sorry
KAISER CHIEFS Everything Is Average Nowadays

>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch!

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk

* Mail by aysabtu


*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, dollymixture, JB, DL, celtiagirl,
NS, deidre, K, frank_syntax, A, ccbaxter, Pidpoid,
MA, P,
*****************************************************

Old Jokes Home:
An Irishman was driving along the motorway when he was
overtaken by a lorry transporting turf to a garden centre.
'That's what I'll do when I'm rich', he says to his wife.
'Have me lawn taken away to be cut'.

Still Bored?
Couple having sex on roof in Soho:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PIjSb2tTdM

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Fled



Two convicts handcuffed escape prison. Started off well, but went a bit downhill when the handcuffs came off.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Along Came Polly



Lame, pointless, lazy, piss poor.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Rhombus In Round Chair Thing



What a moron. Look at her.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Men In Black



Still watchable. I enjoyed it.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Mean Machine



meh.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Hard Time



Utter Rubbish. Features Ferris Bueller's girlfriend.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Spiderman 3



Okay. Not as good as the first two. Gwen Stacey and Ursula are lush though.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Lethal Weapon 2



Ha ha ! PATSY KENSIT ?!??

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Futureworld



Average sequel to robot cowboy flick Westworld. Blythe Danner is fit.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Boyz N The Hood



A classic. I think everyone should see this one. Ice Cube is great.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Another You



Awful. Shouldn't have been made.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Office Space



Everyone I work with should watch this film. It's great.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Me And You And Everyone We Know



Very, very good. I love Miranda July.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Liberty Stands Still



It was alright.

All of the latest Popbitch email

*******************************************************
THE SHOES DON'T LIE. You could always play it safe.
But safe doesn't ask 'where did you get the shoes?'
Safe doesn't turn Tennis-Classic-Green with envy.
Safe shows up twice in the same town. Choose from
dozens of shoes; hundreds of colours; millions of
possible combinations. Kiss safe goodbye.
http://snipurl.com/Nike_ID_PB/
*******************************************************


"My greatest competition is, well, me. I'm the Ali of
today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob
Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all
the other greats that have come before us. " - R Kelly
-----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 17.05.07 ISSUE 349
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Get into summer with Sonny Jim
* What happens to Dr Who
* Charts: Maroon 5 is number one
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Gear-shift <<
Lewis shows ladies his pole position

Sports star of the year is undoubtedly
Lewis Hamilton. Talent spotted by McLaren
supremo Ron Dennis as a child, Hamilton
has been kept in a protective bubble to
help him develop his prodigious talents.
Well, with success comes a desire for
the trappings of success. Lewis was seen
celebrating with the other F1 drivers,
for the first time, after the Barcelona
Grand Prix. He left the Amber Lounge party,
with two expensive escorts on his arm. And
we don't mean bodyguards. Roll on Monaco...


-----------------------------------------------------
An avatar in Second Life has a larger carbon
footprint than the average Brazilian.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
What people want to know this week

Which Joseph-wannabe on Any Dream Will Do
is an escort with the same Suited and
Booted agency where John Browne met
his young nemesis, Jeff Chevalier?

The wife of which media tycoon is said to
be having an affair with one of her
husband's key employees?

Which pop star's future husband is known
in North London circles for extreme
drug use and for lifting their friends/
lovers wallets to pay for it?


-----------------------------------------------------
Easther Bennett, from Eternal, is now a beauty
therapist, in County Hall Club & Spa.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Confessions to a pop star <<
Drunk passenger fails to join mile high club

AC writes:
"I was sitting next to Annie Lennox on a flight
from London to Aberdeen in about 1987, I was a
bit pissed and fell asleep. When I woke up I
had an erection, with my helmet poking up just past
my belt on my tummy. Annie Lennox was sniggering.
She told me if there had been more showing
she would have autographed it. I chanced my
luck with her and she changed her seat."


-----------------------------------------------------
Sian Lloyd says she likes new boyfriend, Jonathan
Ashman, because he's not an attention-seeker. So
much so that he's been texting friends to tell
them when he is going to be in the newspapers.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Baby love <<
Scooch get aother 15 minutes

Scooch did better than expected at Eurovision,
(19 points better) and it's nice to see them
with a top five hit, after their career was cut
short in 2000. Singer Natalie had a baby with
the band's svengali/producer Mike Stock
(of Aitken, Waterman fame), which put a
damper on their frenetic dance routines.


-----------------------------------------------------
Drink of the summer: The Rumball - Mount Gay rum
and red bull.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Scientology scare <<
Tom Cruise is always watching you

medium_smart writes:
"I used to work in an office on Goodge Street.
When I clambered onto the roof to smoke I looked
straight into the recruitment offices of the
Scientologist Centre. I'd sit and watch
morons walk in off the street to get "audited"
and towards the end of their treatment, I'd lean
into the window and say something caustic.
Which I thought was funny and they probably
didn't. I kept up this juvenile behaviour for
about a week.

"Then one Sunday, I was at home (miles out of
London) and someone knocked on my window.
I opened it. There were two men in suits,
saying, "we thought you'd like to see how it
feels'. They then proceeded to heckle and
generally freak out anyone who came anywhere
near the house for the next five hours, as well
as reading stuff from their weird book at
full volume in the street and telling my
neighbours that I was a 'godless and
aggressive unbeliever'."


-----------------------------------------------------
The music that plays Hillary Clinton onto the stage
for her Presidential campaign speeches is Jesus
Jones Right Here, Right Now.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Dr What <<
Season-end spoilers. Possibly.

We're told this is how Dr Who ends this year...

* John Simm as Mr Saxon, the PM, gets taken
over by The Master.
* The Master did this by hiding from the
time war in the Tardis and waiting for the
right body to come along (like in Hellraiser 3)
* The Master becomes a Timelord again by
splicing The Doctor's DNA and temporarily
taking over Dr Who's body.
* cliff-hangers at end are whether The Doctor
rids himself of The Master, and whether the
big explosion you see is Galifrey or Earth.


-----------------------------------------------------
There has never been a British winner of the
Wimbledon men's tournament under a Labour government.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> New US TV <<
Heading to our shores in 2008?

* ABC are excited about a new sitcom called
Cavemen. Its based on an advert by Geico
communications, which doesn't sound like a
great start, but features 30-something men
in Atlanta.
http://www.geico.com/video/airport_h.htm

* Dirty Sexy Money is being hyped as the new
Dynasty. Glam soap opera starring Peter Krause
as a lawyer representing a rich and mysterious
family, headed by Donald Sutherland.

* Me & Lee. Six Million Dollar Man Lee Majors
helps an injured man (Jamie Kennedy) get a
new bionic body. It's directed by Paul
Dinello, from Strangers with Candy.


-----------------------------------------------------
Most inappropriate casting of the year - LA stoner
club kid (and star of preppy Orange County drama)
Mischa Barton... in the new St Trinian's movie.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Corporate Bullshit <<
Cornish wreckers target field

Orange are preparing a novel Glastonbury
competition. They have a bull fitted with GPS
in a field in Cornwall, which is divided into
squares. Guess which square the bull is in at
mid-day each day for two weeks before the festival
and you could win tickets. Except, we hear
from Cornish friends, that the location of the
bull has got out, and there are plans afoot to
"interfere" with the beast...


-----------------------------------------------------
Victor Lewis Smith is currently wooing Mohamed Al
Fayed in the hope of making a documentary about
his "fight against The Establishment".
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Can't stop playing <<
Sonny Jim makes the sound of sunshine

Tune of the summer, if you haven't yet heard it,
is Sonny Jim's Can't Stop Moving. Two major labels
are sniffing around this week to pick it up and
turn the Jackson 5-esque happy disco sing-a-long
into this summer's crossover dance hit. And
with one of the track's co-producers off to
work with Cee-Lo next week, watch out for
a special Gnarls Barklay mix before too long...

Listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_WOcCtboT8&mode=related&search=

(Know the sample? email hello@popbitch.com)


-----------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite urologist: Mr Nicholas
Burns-Cox, at the Nuffield Hospital, Taunton.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Sold a pup <<
Another football star goes dogging

Jose Mourinho's dog, Gullit, is now the most
famous Yorkshire Terrier in the world.
Here are the runners-up through history:

* Huddersfield Ben. The father of the modern
breed of Yorkshire Terrier. Ben (1865 - 1871),
was a top show dog and ratting champion.
His life was tragically cut short, aged six,
when run over by a carriage. But Ben was so
famous that his body was preserved and kept
under glass on public display.
http://www.ayup.co.uk/yorkshire/index.htm

* Mr Famous. Owned by Audrey Hepburn, appeared
in Funny Face, and run over on Wiltshire Boulevard
shooting another movie, The Children's Hour.

* Sulamith and Sara Belladonna. Tour with
Stevie Nicks who insists on hot-dogs on her
rider for the pups.

* Doogie. Endured the embarrassment of
appearing with owner Whitney Houston on her
reality TV show.

* Milo, Dolce, Luna and Venus. Have Naomi
Campbell as owner.

Four unknown Yorkies. Bought by Elton for Posh's
birthday a couple of years ago, these dogs have
yet to be seen again in public.


To buy one without getting into trouble with the police:
http://www.puppiesforsalebynet.com/


-----------------------------------------------------
RIP Jerry Falwell, no doubt reading us from his
new, rather hotter home below. Falwell's climate
change-denier professor at his Liberty University
is called... Dr Ice.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Things that make you go hmmm <<
David Gest, Steven Gerrard, Blood pillow

Congratulations to Serbia's Rose West look-a-like
who won Eurovision. The country's been going
close for years, so listen to their 2004
runner-up, by Zeljo Joksimovic. Probably the
most beautiful piece of music in ESC history:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByJ3eeBsktw

Premiership footballers were asked to donate a
day's wages to a Royal College of Nursing hardship
fund. The whole squads of Watford and Sheffield
United, Fulham, Tottenham, Blackburn, Reading
and West Ham did. Chelsea - not one player
volunteered:
http://www.maydayfornurses.co.uk/?module=players

Get a blood puddle pillow
http://www.fromkeetra.com/posts.php?post=012

Want to buy Rednex?
http://www.popbandforsale.com/

David Gest porn-a-like:
http://www.justusboys.com/reviews/ec_image_1_4106.jpg

Steven Gerrard has a nice new house:
http://www.skiptonproperty.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=4970


*******************************************************
Miss Titmuss has never been afraid to kiss-and-tell,
but are you? We can't promise any tabloid cash but you
can see how you stack up against your friends at:
http://www.dishyourdirt.com
*******************************************************


>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 20th May

++ Number One
MAROON 5 Makes Me Wonder

++ Top Ten
SNOW PATOL Signal Fire
RIHANNA/JAY-Z Umbrella

++ Top Twenty
BOOTY LUV Shine
BIFFY CLYRO Living is A Problem Because Everything
THE CRIBS Men's Needs
VERKA SEDUCHKA Dancing

++ Top Forty
CSS Let's Make Love And...
SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR ME And My Imagination
MUTYA BUENA Real Girl
MUMM-RA She's Got You High


>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch!

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

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*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, dollymixture, JB, DL, LT, MH
party_b, beaver, ol sparky, ullyses, JK, JT, CJD,
NS, calendergirl, celtiagirl, HL, SW, _____, GA
deep_stoat, popfiction, abominable_homan, lashdevil
checkmychops, xxxxx, 7zark7, SW, fluffy, llanelliboy
*****************************************************

Old Jokes Home:
Q: What do you call someone who covers his parts
n chick peas, garlic and tahini?
A: A hummusexual.


Still Bored?
The best ever TV music show audition ever.
From Austria's version of X Factor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD6dKvVFzog

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Happiness



Pitch black comedy. A bit tough to watch though !

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Half Nelson



Best film of 2007 (so far).

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Alpha Dog



Great film, Wasn't expecting how it turned out. Justin Trousersnake is surprising. Go see.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - The Man With The Golden Arm



Awesome. A classic, and great titles. Ol' Blue Eyes is very good and I don't really like him as an actor. There you go.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Popbitch pieces

>> Finger pointing <<
Celebrities get nailed

A manicurist to the stars tells us about the
hands and feet of celebrities:

* Most disgusting pig-like star? Sienna Miller.
- fingernails "like a tramp", and athlete's foot.

* Most surprising defects? Liz Hurley
"appalling cracked heels".

* Most perfectly manicured? Nancy dell'Ollio
"Hands and feet so good she could do my nails".

>> Popbits <<
Football house-buying merry-go-round

* Alan Hanson lives in a white 12-bedroom mansion
by Royal Birkdale golf course. Mark Lawrenson
lives directly opposite.

* Louis Saha bought Ruud van Nistelrooy's old
house. He sold his old house to Kerry Katona.

* Oxford manager Jim Smith has a house next door
to Wrexham manager Dennis Smith. They are
not related.

>> Beds of the rich and famous <<
Only fools and horses like car-beds

Nicholas Lyndhurst has a bed shaped like
a racing car. A carpenter in Surrey last
year won the brief to design a Red Ferrari
bed fashioned in Mahogany.