Wednesday, February 27, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Control

Very, very, very good. Bleak and beautiful at the same time.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

22 Steps

Raindance presents

22 Step Story Structure with John Truby
London Sat/Sun 5/6 April 9:30 - 6pm

Understanding Genre
London Mon/Tues 7/8 April 6:30 - 10pm

Greetings!

Do you have 100 pages of script but only 50 pages of story? That's the single biggest reason scripts are rejected in Hollywood.

I'm John Truby. I've taught advanced story structure to over 20,000 people worldwide and have been story consultant on over 1000 scripts. I've seen all the story problems and I know how to fix them. That's why I created 22 Step Story Structure. I wanted a screenwriting class that would show you hundreds of story techniques I know while you're writing.

I am returning to London at the beginning of April

Let me tell you how I work:

Why not work like the professionals?

Key point: top professionals use fundamentally different tools than amateur writers. These techniques include everything from grand story strategy to scene sequencing to setting up and paying off scene patterns to blending dialogue.

Yet most books and courses on screenwriting in today's market teach a simple one-size-fits-all approach useful only for beginners. Isn't it time you abandon obsolete script theories and step up to the professional ranks?

This course will teach you literally hundreds of professional techniques that will allow you to compete with the best. This flagship class of the Truby's Writers Studio, taken by over 20,000 students worldwide, wins awards year after year as the best writing class in America. Don't miss this rare opportunity to master your craft.

Michael Clayton And my system works:

I have trained the writers, directors, or producers of Shrek, Planet of the Apes, Flamingo Rising, The Negotiator, Inspector Gadget, Outbreak, Sleepless in Seattle, The Addams Family, Beetlejuice, Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream, Kiss of the Spider Woman, Back to School, Rambling Rose, Star Wars, Batman Begins and many more.

They know story.

How about you?

Learn more about my 22 Step Story Structure Class Saturday/Sunday 5/6 April

Read my article: The 9 Elements of Great Films

Features of 22 Step Story Structure

Discover the 22 Building Blocks of every great script

· Creating the single driving force · 3 Variations to classic structure and how to tell which is right for you · 7 steps to a great premise · 4 requirements of a good hero · 4 keys to the perfect opponent · The secret to creating a strong middle · How to write 3-track dialogue · Secrets of building the scene

What: 22 Step Story Structure
When: Saturday Sunday 5/6 April 9:30 - 6pm
Where: University of Westminster, 115 New Cavendish St, London, W1W 6UW Map
How Much: £250 + VAT
Members discount:
Raindance members get a 15% discount.
You can join now and save
-
Count Me In - Call 0207 287 3833 or Book Online Here

No Country For Old Men Genre: the secret weapon of successful writers

The first rule of the entertainment business is this: it buys and sells genres.

Today's most popular movies are always at least one story form, and usually a combination of two or three.

If you want to succeed, you must master one or two of the most popular genres, then write a script that bends the rules.

The problem is that almost nobody is an expert at the intricate array of beats, tricks and techniques required by the eleven most popular movie genres.

Until now.

What: Understanding Genre
When: Monday/Tuesday 7/8 April 6:30 - 10pm
Where: University of Westminster, 115 New Cavendish St, London, W1W 6UW Map
How Much: £145 + VAT
Members discount:
Raindance members get a 15% discount.
You can join now and save
-
Count Me In - Call 0207 287 3833 or Book Online Here

There Will Be Blood Why am I coming to Raindance?

In Hollywood, where I live and work, the Brits are the toast of the town.

But where you constantly frustrate me is with the scripts that you write!

Make a few little changes and you would make films that would totally dominate the international cinema scene.

Take the Oscar nominations this year.

The nominated scripts seem to all specialise in Moral Storytelling.

Read my article Moral Storytelling and the Oscars...

Another of my principles is Why 3 Act Story Wil Kill You


I hope to see you at Raindance in London on Saturday/Sunday 5/6 April for my 22 Step Story Structure class and/or Monday/Tuesday 7/8 April for my special Understanding Genre class.

Happy screenwriting,


Truby 2008
John Truby
Raindance
email: johntruby@raindance.co.uk
phone: +44 (0) 207 287 3833
web: www.raindance.co.uk
The Raindance Guarantee
If you decide to attend and find that this course is overhyped, or unsuitable, or simply does not meet or exceed your expectaions, let a member of Raindance know by noon on the first day for an instant, no-questions-asked refund.

Discounts
Raindance Members - deduct 15%
UB40's / Students / Pensioners - deduct 10%
Out-of-town discount - deduct 10%
Both any class get Secrets of Story - FREE
Book Both classes save 15% (Members save 20%)

Discounts cannot be combined
Call 0207 287 3833 to book
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We are open for festival submissions until June 1st

Watch new shorts, docs and features on Raindance.tv from anywhere in the world

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe ...

Traditional pipes now outnumbered by crack pipes

The British statistical survey has thrown up a quirky piece of data that moralists and church groups have seized upon as a significant milestone in the continuing decay of modern British society.

For the first time there are now more people smoking crack pipes than traditional tobacco pipes, with almost no overlap between the two groups of users. ‘Old fashioned pipes are still popular with certain types of older bearded men; model railway enthusiasts, canal barge restorers and the like, but curiously these tend to be among the least likely people to head into the inner cities to score crack cocaine off their dealer,’reported the survey.

To read the full story, click here.

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IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Jumper

Started off well then got gradually worse.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Grotbags

Essex man completes 'all the porn on the internet'

Wayne Harris, an unemployed builder from Chigwell made history this week by becoming the first man in the world to have perused all the pornography on the Internet. The historic moment occurred late on Thursday 21 February, when Mr Harris started to notice that some of the images he was accessing seemed a little familiar, and suddenly he realised he was now on his second time around.

To read the full story, click here.

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Friday, February 22, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Big

Classic. Hanks is fantastic and Perkins is cute.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Angel & The Badman

It's just really slow.

Hmmmm ...

Goss

*****************************************************
If you wear a Rolax watch or Jommy Chew shoes, then you
probably drink vodka. And this isn't the site for you:
http://go.popbit.ch/47
*****************************************************

“If you're in Havana and you're not drinking a
Mojito in the background then what are you
really doing?“ - Craig David
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 22.02.08 ISSUE 386
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* From The Stranglers to Pop Larkin
* Phone a friend with the Maharishi
* Charts: Duffy is number one
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Winner takes it all <<
Take That's superfans strike again

Talk going round backstage at the Brits
was that, in the Best Single category losing
nominees were told the day before that they
hadn't won. Which was strange as there was
supposed to be a phone vote on the night
to pick the winner. Although Take That
were already way out in front at that point,
in the light of so many recent phone fraud
scandals it seems an unusual way to behave.


FYI: Interesting to see that supposedly credible
Mercury winners The Klaxons mimed, while
pop acts played live.


-----------------------------------------------------
Shia LaBeouf likes going commando so often we're
told his bollocks have started to drop
“like an old man's”.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> On your Mark <<
A good night for record producers

The music industry gave British male artists
a huge kick in the teeth at the Brits.
Ronson's a nice guy and a good producer, who
has made some successful cover versions, but
he is neither an artist nor British. Long
time New York resident Mark became a US
citizen last week. Perhaps the notoriously
misogynist record industry just wanted to
find a bloke to credit for Amy Winehouse
and Lily Allen's success last year.


-----------------------------------------------------
Anthony Costa's solo show at Darwen Library Theatre
failed to go ahead after only 22 tickets were sold.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Which political campaign would be rather damaged
if revelations about a candidate's outrageous
and danger-seeking sexual escapades come out
at the wrong time?

Photos of Johnny Borrell and Hermione from
Harry Potter at a Fashion Week party were a
smoke-screen to cover up his new liaison with
which celebrity?

Is there any reason whatsoever for us to have
Sharon Osbourne on our TV screens again?


-----------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chief Warrant Officer: the
motion picture liason officer for the US
Coastguard is... CWO Randy Midgett.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Dial Omm for murder <<
Say sorry to a star with popbitch

boggled-mind writes:
“I'm a very old Popbitch reader. When I was 15
the Maharishi visited Sydney. I went to his
lecture and was entranced. He invited us back
to his hotel to get the "secret" word (omm)
for meditation, but there was no more room
in the conference room so I was put into the
Maharishi's suite to wait. On his bedside
table was his telephone contact book. All these
stars' numbers were there and I wrote them all
down - Warren Beatty, George Harrison, John
Lennon, Mick Jagger , Patti Boyd and Ringo
Starr was as far as I got before the old fraud
came in. Later that night I phoned them all
from Australia and when they answered I
just said "ommmm" until each one finally
hung up. Sorry guys. I got into such trouble
from my dad when the phone bill came in I
was banned from using it for ages.”


*****************************************************
Nudity + Police = Jail? Did this TV star get extra
rough treatment? Where is the justice?
http://go.popbit.ch/48
****************************************************


>> Ibiza rocks... sometimes <<
Balearic island gets ready for bed

Anyone who has ever enjoyed watching the sun
come up at a club in Ibiza will be sad to
hear of the changes this year. Local
authorities have just passed legislation
outlawing club opening between 6am and noon.
Space and DC10's status as after-hour venues
are therefore under threat. The owner of DC10,
identified in court only as DLM, is already
facing a year in prison for opening hour
transgressions from last summer. However
nothing is that simple in Ibiza. Local
bureaucrats have also said there could be
exceptions made to this rule. So maybe
if the club you want to go to has well-
connected people with the right size
brown envelopes running it, that dream
sunny morning clubbing experience might
still come true.


-----------------------------------------------------
Gavin Henson was at the Marc Almond concert at Cardiff
St Davids Hall wearing “enough mascara and eyeliner
to make Dusty Springfield jealous.”
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Kabullshit <<
Things aren't looking up in Afghanistan

We were hoping to celebrate our forthcoming
400th issue with our readers in Kabul. However
Our_man_in_Kabul sent us this:

“Things are going bad around here and it's
gonna get ugly pretty soon I'm afraid.
We're more worried about the cops than
the Taliban. A nephew of Karzai has set
up his own security company here. He has
various districts of the city in his
pocket, and pays off the cops to stop
and search the gringos (Brits and any
Westerner). A couple of guys we used to
work with got arrested at the end of
January and held for 10 days by the Afghan
authorities - not nice. This place is more
corrupt than Iraq, and that is saying
something.”


-----------------------------------------------------
Eggsy from Goldie Lookin Chain dined with his mum at
the Fwrrwm Ishta restaurant in Caerphilly on Saturday.
He wore no leisure wear, nor much gold.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Punk's not dead... <<
From The Stranglers to Pop Larkin

Like Punk Never Happened, Part 342.
The singer who replaced Hugh Cornwell in
The Stranglers, Paul Roberts, is playing Pop
Larkin in a stage production of The Darling
Buds of May. Roberts fronted The Stranglers
from 1990 to 2006 but will be starring in
this new musical at the Kings Theatre,
Southsea, in April.


-----------------------------------------------------
Marilyn Manson's absinthe “Mansinthe” has been mauled
by food and drink critics, who said it smells like
“sewage, swamp mud and rubbing alcohol”. The only
absinthe brand to be seen with now is Le Tourment Vert.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Noel Fielding needed! <<
BBC3 audience bites back

audience girl writes:
“I was unfortunately at a recent recording of
“The Wall", BB3's new interactive show. It
was advertised as being presented by Noel
Fielding. That was the only reason I got the
tickets, it was the most unfunny pile of
drivel ever to be even thought of as a TV
programme, they kept saying about it being
live but it's not even been on yet? Alexa
Chung sat by me and joked about how much the
audience smelt! I really hope it is never
shown as I am sat near her and Lee Mack,
unfunny fucker. And there was no Noel
Fielding!!!!”


-----------------------------------------------------
Lemurs are colourblind.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Tune of the day <<
Get into Soko for summer

Imagine a French Kate Nash. She'd be prettier,
cooler, make slightly awkward lyrics sound cute
and probably smoke a brand of cigarettes that
you can't pronounce. Meet Soko.

How can you not like a song with these lyrics?
“I will never love you more than my boyfriend
when I was 14. Even though he's now an asshole.”

Listen to I Will Never Love You More:
http://www.myspace.com/mysoko


-----------------------------------------------------
Otter footprints have been spotted at night
around Colchester town centre.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Newcastle frown <<
Even fish love beer

We can't help thinking Gazza booze and
drug trodden path to the loony bin was
somewhat inevitable. The story of his
sad sectioning this week brought back an
old Gazza legend from when he was 18. Still
an apprentice he was desperate to impress
his boss at Newcastle ,Jack Charlton.
He spent a week's wages on fishing gear
and got the legendary angler to give him a
lesson. At the riverbank Charlton apparently
threw all Gazza's equipment into the water,
except for the fishing rod, opened a bottle
of Newcastle Brown Ale and poured it into
the water. The fish started biting and he
reeled in a whopper in minutes. So an
early lesson - all you need is beer.


-----------------------------------------------------
When Gazza bought ex-wife Sheryl a tit job, he
sent flowers to her hospital room for when she
came round from the op addressed to “Dolly Parton”.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> More than a feeling <<
Boston shoot down Huckabee

The founder of soft rock heroes Boston, Tom
Sholz, is angry that Mike Huckabee is using
their classic track, More Than a Feeling,
in his campaign. “Boston has never endorsed
a political candidate”, he says, “and with
all due respect, would not start by endorsing
a candidate who is the polar opposite of
most everything Boston stands for. In fact,
although I'm impressed you learned my bass
guitar part on More Than a Feeling, I am an
Obama supporter.”

Boston Stuff you should know:
1. More Than a Feeling" took five years to write.

2. Scholz credits Walk Away Renee by The Left
Banke as the song's inspiration.

3. Scholz also invented the Rockman Guitar Amp.

4. More Than A Feeling can be heard in Close
Encounters of the Third Kind, when a car pulls
up to McDonald's as the UFOs cause power outage

5. Popbitch once made a very limited edition
cover of the track. Sadly our studio time
was cut short due to our managing to offend
a well-known rap star at the time.

6. Scholtz' charitable foundation has
raised millions of dollars for animals,
homeless shelters and children's rights.


-----------------------------------------------------
All publicity is good publicity - Britney's perfume
made $13 million in Britain last year.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Things that make you go hmm <<
Dog beatbox, cement blocks, Bert and Ernie

Beatbox your dawg:
http://www.beatbox.tele2.se/

22 years ago this week Pet Shop Boys released
Love Comes Quickly. It still sounds lovely.
http://www.popbitch.com/videos

Junk food - the reality:
http://www.thewvsr.com/adsvsreality.htm

Everyone's favourite classified:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2416/2201688044_b9a72418e2_o.jpg

Magnus Magnusson and Ian Richardson
t-shirts now available:
http://www.teemarto.com

This nice fella needs some friends:
http://boners.com/grub/798222.html

Bert and Ernie go brutal:
(And so do Cadburys)
http://www.popbitch.com/videos

The only thing funnier than watching Chelsea lose
the Carling Cup would be winning money on it.
Follow your heart not your head - there's some
good Spurs bets to take:
http://tinyurl.com/359e53

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 24th Feb

++ Number One
DUFFY Mercy

++ Top Ten
H TWO O What's It Gonna Be
KYLIE MINOGUE Wow

++ Top Twenty
UTAH SAINTS Something Good 08

++ Top Forty
TAiO CRUZ Come On Girl
FLORIDA FT T PAIN Low
CRAIG DAVID 6 Of 1 Thing
MARK RONSON Just


>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk

* Mail by aysabtu

* Thanks to everyone who entered the Popbitch TV
panda comp. We'll be in touch this week.

*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, WB, LT, DM, SW, tears_of_a_clown,
danceswithmustelids, plastiktom, deep_stoat,
bobbifleckmann, LB, TL,
*****************************************************


Old Jokes Home:
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute
and a Ferrari?
A: You won't find a Ferrari in my garage.


Still Bored:
Can you name all US Presidents?
http://www.sporcle.com/games/presidents.php

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Spy Kids 3D

Okay. Not as good as number 2.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Carry On Follow That Camel

Rubbish. Had to watch it to the end though.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Across The Universe

I liked it a lot. Very clever in places.

And finally ...

Dramatic increase in the number of proud parents whose sons ‘do something with computers’

The government has been criticised for cutting the number of staff working for the British Jobs Survey, and relying instead on information gathered from the elderly parents of those in work.

The latest figures based on this method of collecting employment data has seen a dramatic rise in the number of people who ‘do something in computers’ with the encouraging news that 100% of them ‘are doing very well.’

To read the full story, click here.

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - About Schmidt

I enjoyed it very much. Kathy Burke is very good.

News Double Bill

Makers of Action Man sued for inadequate equipment

Action Man maker Hasbro is to be sued for failing to provide adequate equipment for toy soldiers going into battle. A support group representing the plastic fighting dolls is claiming that Action Men have been put at risk by being sent into battle with faulty or unsuitable military hardware. A spokesman for the group told reporters ‘It’s an international disgrace that can only be called penny pinching. Plastic boots, guns that don’t fire and ‘armoured’ cars that afford no protection against being knocked off the sofa with a giant plastic sword; our boys deserve better.’

To read the full story, click here.

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Office manager ‘pretty sure’ he got away with new wig

Andrew Mullins, a property manager for Brent Council in London, was relieved to report that his first day at work sporting a newly-acquired toupee, had passed without incident.

Forty-eight year old Mullins had taken the decision to buy a hairpiece after concluding that combing over the ‘slightly thinning’ hair on the top of his head with strands from the back and sides was taking too long in the mornings. He didn’t expect anyone would really notice the change, but upon arriving at the office first thing on Monday Mullins had loudly announced to the staff that he had ‘discovered a new barber’, just in case.

To read the full story, click here.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

VOTE REGGIE PERRIN

We're 4th and 5th. Keep voting.

You lot love it.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - The Nines

Confusing genius by John August. Go see.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Rambo: First Blood

Classic ! Ha ha ! Cannot wait for the new one !

Newsbiscuit

Thousands of celebrities audition for ‘America’s Next Top Accountant’

Top singers, actors, dancers and rock stars have all been queuing up in the hope of getting a steady job in accountancy in the latest talent show to top the ratings in the United States.

‘I always had this secret dream that I might one day work in some area of financial management’ said an excited Beyonce, ‘but this TV show means that at last there is the chance that my dreams might come true…’ she said as she practised her audition piece with her calculator and spreadsheet.

To read the full story, click here.

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Monday, February 18, 2008

BBC - Clowns

‘BBC excluding us from top broadcasting jobs’ claim Clowns

A spokesman for the UK Clown Council has made a blistering attack on the British Broadcasting Corporation for what he claims is a deliberate policy of systematic exclusion from the major news and current affairs presenting jobs.

Speaking at the annual clowns' convention, Beppo Pagliacci, head of the UK Clowns Council, slammed the BBC for persistent failures to offer career advancement opportunities to members of the clown community. ‘Clowns have been pigeonholed as slapstick circus performers…’ he claimed in an emotional address to members, in which he appeared to both cry and then laugh unconvincingly. ‘If you very long shoes, or a hair that lifts up when you laugh, somehow that makes you unsuitable to present Newsnight’ he claimed.

To read the full story, click here.

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IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - In The Line Of Fire

Decent handmade gun toting President killer flick.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Newsbiccy

Scientists develop condom-flavoured fruit

A team of British scientists have developed a range of condom flavoured fruits, in an attempt to improve the diet of ‘sex-addicted British teenagers’. Research shows that teenagers dislike the unfamiliar taste of fresh fruit and vegetables and so the hope is that they may be tempted to try them if they come in more familiar flavours.

To read the full story, click here.

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Saturday, February 16, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Bruce Almighty

Some funny bits, the rest is a bit lame.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Private Benjamin

Classic comedy. Goldie Hawn is fit.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - True Lies

I love this film. I swear I've reviewed it already.

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Shooter


Why did they set him up again ?

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - The Chronicles Of Riddick

Awful. Dame Judi Dench, what were you thinking ?

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - License To Kill


The best of the Welsh ones ...

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Cloverfield

I like. That is one indestructible camera !

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Casablanca

Classic. The most romantic film ever made ?

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - All Of Me

Very good indeed. Simple idea.

It's late, (pop) Bitch !

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a panda music video on new Popbitch TV:
http://popbitch.tv
*****************************************************

“50% of the men in prison are loved by their mothers
but they don't love their mothers back” - Mr T
----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 14.02.08 ISSUE 385
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com

* Hunting for Chelsy
* Dancing on thin ice
* Charts: Nickelback are number one
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Sweet Child O' Mine <<
London is the future of rock 'n' roll

Slash from Guns n' Roses has retired from the
hard drinking, smacked out, groupie-fuelled
rock scene to a world of suburban family bliss.
Almost. Mr and Mrs Slash have two cute little
boys Cash, age three, and London, who is six.
London may be a chip off the old block.

A babysitter got the full force of Slash Jnr's
charm. She was accosted by London with the words
“You can't get past me unless you take off your
clothes - you're hot!” And when she went to
kiss the boys goodnight he told her he wanted
to stick his tongue down her throat. Alas sleep
didn't come and the boys began to figh. When
Cash started crying to London “You've hurt my
balls again”, the babysitter decided that
night would be her last.


-----------------------------------------------------
Massive Attack will be this year's artistic
directors of the Meltdown Festival.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> What a shower <<
Kerry is the new Oscar Wilde

honk writes:
“Kerry Katona's 'baby shower' at Hospital. Her
'people' had aptly filled the room full of
gawpers and no-marks, indeed the highest level
of celebrity was Ziggy from Big Brother.

“She thanked everyone for coming, then added,
with Wildean comic timing, 'not literally'.
On the plus side, I do have a photo of her
shovelling an armful of chips into her mouth
which I may laminate and put on my fridge
door as a deterrent.”


-----------------------------------------------------
Last week's Dramatic Lemur was in fact a Dramatic
Tarsier. We're told the Tarsier has the longest
continuous unchanged fossil record of any primate.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Dancing on thin ice <<
Garraway ballroom blitzes the Mirror

Will the Sunday Mirror come to regret their
decision to publish the Kate Garraway playing
away story? Convinced there was something
fishy going on, reporters had tailed her
for more than three weeks but the photos
of a slightly shifty embrace outside a pub
were as good as they'd got. An insider tells
us that with no big splash for the front
page confirmed - and a lot of cash invested
in the investigation - they decided to take
their chance and run with it.


*****************************************************
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Claim in time for sexy promotions tonight including
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*****************************************************


>> Head-hunter <<
Getting on a story the tabloid way

Nice work if you can get it. A tabloid
dispatched a handsome young reporter to Leeds
with a wad of twenties and the instruction
“to find Chelsy Davy and shag her”.
He's still waiting.


-----------------------------------------------------
Beagle Uno won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel
Club Dog Show. He's the first beagle to be named top
dog. As his owner said, "Snoopy would be proud.”
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Whose relationship split has brought back
the rumours that their union was sparked
by a contract brokered by their
publicists who were keen to dampen down
speculation about both celebrities'
private lives?


-----------------------------------------------------
What's wrong with Britain? The publicly voted short-
list for “Celebrity Mum of the Year” includes Mel B,
Posh, Heather Mills, Katie Price and Kate Garraway.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Food for thought <<
Like lambs to the slaughter

Waitrose is making a film on an Oxfordshire
farm to show to its shareholders meeting,
to confirm that the firm's farming and produce
is all lovely and ethical. The farm is indeed
everything they say it is. Wonder if they'll
mention that it is owned by Lord Sainsbury.


-----------------------------------------------------
Shane Richie said on his Facebook page this week
that “Chris Moyles is a fat unfunny man”.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Valentine's Viola <<
Soothing music to get through this shite

Here's the perfect soothing music for
Valentine's Day. Once a boy soprano, Fredo
Viola is now working on a collaboration with
Massive Attack.

Listen:
http://www.myspace.com/fredoviola


-----------------------------------------------------
Felch Township, in Michigan, hosts the towns of
Felch and Felch Mountain, and was after long-dead
Governor and US Senator, Alpheus Felch.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Toilet humour <<
Jimmy Nail's back to amuse us

Jimmy Nail is back. Don't all cheer at once.
He's starring in a BBC1 sitcom called Parents
of The Band, and plays a former music industry
exec with ambitious plans for his teenage
son's band. TV production folk will shudder.
Crew members remember the shoot for Crocodile
Shoes. Nail hated portaloos, and one day,
needing a dump, got the line producer to
knock on people's doors to ask someone to
let Jimmy use the toilet, until one star-struck
bog-owner said yes.


-----------------------------------------------------
John Leslie spotted in a white linen suit, in a
pharmacist in Sydney's Circular Quay, asking for
something for a rash on his neck.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Buck's Fizz boxers burglary <<
Say sorry to a star with popbitch

two_left_feet writes:
“I was invited to David van Day’s house
for a party during the time he was in Bucks
Fizz. When I got to his house in Hove, his
wife showed us where to put our coats, which
was the room they obviously used as a laundry.
We placed our coats on top of a pile of
clean washing and joined the throng. David and
his wife were great fun and a real laugh and
it didn’t matter that we’d never met. When I
left, very drunk on gin, I decided to borrow
something from the clean laundry basket as a
memento. I left with a pair of M&S knitted
boxer briefs (medium), which I cherished until
I sobered up. Then I threw them out. Sorry
Mr van Day - I can’t begin to tell you how
ashamed I am of this.”


-----------------------------------------------------
Bill Nighy's daughter has this full name: Mary Bing
Jamie Alfreda Leonora Quick Kit Nighy
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Bachelor party <<
What is it about gays and Gruffudd?

MM writes:
“I read your story on Ioan Gruffudd. I am also
a boy who once met him at a party. I had drunk
seven martinis, the free bar had run out, so I
demanded that he buy me a drink and dance with
me. He bought me a sea breeze but just moved
around a bit awkwardly while I threw random
drunken shapes. We chatted and he was totally
charming. And then he went home with my
beautiful friend. And according to her, he
was a great shag.”


-----------------------------------------------------
Arabic countries have adopted a charter to allow
censorship and punishment of satellite TV channels
which offend Arab leaders or religious symbols.
Except Qatar, home to al-Jazeera, who refused.
-----------------------------------------------------


>> Bear cheek <<
All you need to know about Flocke

Disgruntled Berlin zoo-goers are complaining
that Knut is being kept out of visitors' sight
for most days. They claim it's to protect him
but an insider tells us it's all political -
to stop the attention on him and away from
the other animals. So we'd better turn our
attention to Nuremberg's rival polar bear
after all. Five things to know about Flocke:

1. Four people look after her so that she
doesn't get too attached to her owner.
2. Flocke first drew blood with her claws
at 5 weeks old (but didn't mean it).
3. She is fed on a mix of puppy milk, vitamins
and cod-liver oil with a shot of maize
syrup to prevent constipation.
4. Flocke doesn't yet have milk-teeth even
though she's now two months old, and
polar bears usually get them at around 30 days.
5.. When she's about four months old Flocke
will be given porridge with carrots, chopped
liver and mince.


Polar bears and huskies.
Adopted by the religious right:
http://tinyurl.com/2o8pro


*****************************************************
Got a shoe fetish? Check out the gorgeous heels on
show at London Fashion Week at osoyou.com now:
http://www.osoyou.com/lists/507.publisha?utm_source=Popbitch
*****************************************************


>> Things that make you go hmm <<
All you need is love - even otters

Christina Amphlett of The Divinyls is
suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. Remember
her in happier days when she could still
touch herself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTneO6UgRuM

12” 80s Love has the extended mix of ABC's
All Of My Heart, which sounds just perfect:
http://astore.amazon.co.uk/umtv-1280s-21

This week we are loving the clever new wine
things at The East Room, Shoreditch:
http://www.thstrm.com/

Kangaroo self-love:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAtpMOEsNRs

Otters getting down to it. Blimey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0Jhsv2sPeQ

Feeling neglected this Valentine's? Discoo
loves you. Get £10 on us and Free Delivery
when you spend £40 on a lovely dress or
funky tee. Use code "polarbears" at checkout.
http://www.discoo.co.uk

Cash from luvvies - we reckon the only open
Oscar race is Best Supporting Actress:
http://tinyurl.com/2bnh42


>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 17th Feb

++ Number One
NICKELBACK Rockstar
* The track has been in the top 40 for
16 weeks before hitting number one. A record.

++ Top Ten
DUFFY Mercy
THE FEELING I Thought It Was Over
GOLDFRAPP A&E

++ Top Twenty
PARAMORE Misery Business
TIMBALAND Apologize


>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by: http://del.co.uk

* Mail by aysabtu


*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, WB, LT, AM, x Am, T, HS,
lb, deep_stoat, bobbifleckmann, captbuckeye, AM
tamarabumpdeeay, intheissynoho,
*****************************************************


Old Jokes Home:
A woman comes home on Valentine's Day
with a duck under her arm.
Her husband meets her at the door.
She says "This is the pig I'm shagging".

"That's not a pig, it's a duck," he replies.

"I was talking to the duck."

Still Bored:
The German sausage rug. Everyone needs one:
http://www.wurstteppich.de/

Monday, February 11, 2008

Feb Fourteenth



A bittersweet Valentine's Day film to send your nearest and dearest.

Music -
Sea Of Love by Cat Power
Love & Happiness - Al Green

Enjoy and share.

P.S. - You can download a version for your mobile phone here - http://www.mediafire.com/?8vmmzmulwmd

Why not send it to your loved ones ?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

BAFTAs - THE WHOLE LOT

SOD IT... HERE YOU GO.

British Academy Film Awards BBC One

Winners of the 2008 Orange British Academy Film Awards.

* Winner

Best film

ATONEMENT*
American Gangster
The Lives of Others
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood


Best British film

THIS IS ENGLAND*
Atonement
The Bourne Ultimatum
Control
Eastern Promises


Leading actor

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS - THERE WILL BE BLOOD*
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
James McAvoy - Atonement, James McAvoy interview
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises
Ulrich Muehe - The Lives of Others


Leading actress

MARION COTILLARD - LA VIE EN ROSE*
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Keira Knightley - Atonement, Keira Knightley interview
Ellen Page - Juno


Supporting actor

JAVIER BARDEM - NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN*
Paul Dano - There Will Be Blood
Tommy Lee Jones - No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton


Supporting actress

TILDA SWINTON - MICHAEL CLAYTON*
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Kelly Macdonald - No Country for Old Men
Samantha Morton - Control
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement


Director

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - JOEL COEN/ETHAN COEN*
Atonement - Joe Wright
The Bourne Ultimatum - Paul Greengrass
The Lives of Others - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
There Will Be Blood - Paul Thomas Anderson


Original screenplay

JUNO - DIABLO CODY*
American Gangster - Steven Zaillian
The Lives of Others - Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Michael Clayton - Tony Gilroy
This Is England- Shane Meadows


Adapted screenplay

THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY - RONALD HARWOOD*
Atonement - Christopher Hampton
The Kite Runner - David Benioff
No Country for Old Men - Joel Coen/Ethan Coen
There Will Be Blood - Paul Thomas Anderson


Film not in the English language

THE LIVES OF OTHERS*
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Kite Runner
Lust, Caution
La Vie En Rose


Animated film

RATATOUILLE*
Shrek the Third
The Simpsons Movie

The Carl Foreman award for special achievement by a British director, writer or producer for their first feature film

MATT GREENHALGH (writer) - CONTROL*
Chris Atkins (director/writer) - Taking Liberties
Mia Bays (producer) - Scott Walker: 30 Century Man
Sarah Gavron (director) - Brick Lane
Andrew Piddington (director/writer) - The Killing of John Lennon


Music

LA VIE EN ROSE - CHRISTOPHER GUNNING*
American Gangster - Marc Streitenfeld
Atonement - Dario Marianelli
The Kite Runner - Alberto Iglesias
There Will Be Blood - Jonny Greenwood


Cinematography

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - ROGER DEAKINS*
American Gangster - Harris Savides
Atonement - Seamus McGarvey
The Bourne Ultimatum - Oliver Wood
There Will Be Blood - Robert Elswit


Editing

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM - CHRISTOPHER ROUSE*
American Gangster - Pietro Scalia
Atonement - Paul Tothill
Michael Clayton - John Gilroy
No Country for Old Men - Roderick Jaynes


Production design

ATONEMENT - SARAH GREENWOOD, KATIE SPENCER*
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Guy Hendrix Dyas, Richard Roberts
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix - Stuart Craig, Stephanie McMillan
There Will Be Blood - Jack Fisk, Jim Erickson
La Vie En Rose - Olivier Raoux


Costume design

LA VIE EN ROSE - MARIT ALLEN *
Atonement - Jacqueline Durran
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Alexandra Byrne
Lust, Caution - Pan Lai
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Colleen Atwood


Sound

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM - KIRK FRANCIS, SCOTT MILLAN, DAVE PARKE, KAREN BAKER LANDERS, PER HALLBERG*
Atonement - Danny Hambrook, Paul Hamblin, Catherine Hodgson
No Country for Old Men - Peter Kurland, Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff
There Will Be Blood - Christopher Scarabosio, Matthew Wood, John Pritchett, Michael Semanick, Tom Johnson
La Vie En Rose - Laurent Zeilig, Pascal Villard, Jean-Paul Hurier, Marc Doisne


Special visual effects

THE GOLDEN COMPASS - MICHAEL FINK, BILL WESTENHOFER, BEN MORRIS, TREVOR WOODS*
The Bourne Ultimatum - Peter Chiang, Charlie Noble, Mattias Lindahl, Joss Williams
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Tim Burke, John Richardson, Emma Norton, Chris Shaw
Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End - John Knoll, Charles Gibson, Hal Hickel, John Frazier
Spider-Man 3- Scott Stokdyk, Peter Nofz, Kee-Suk Ken Hahn, Spencer Cook


Make-up and hair

LA VIE EN ROSE - JAN ARCHIBALD, DIDIER LAVERGNE*
Atonement - Ivana Primorac
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Jenny Shircore
Hairspray - nominees to be confirmed
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Ivana Primorac


Short animation

THE PEARCE SISTERS - JO ALLEN, LUIS COOK*
Head Over Heels - Osbert Parker, Fiona Pitkin, Ian Gouldstone
The Crumblegiant - Pearse Moore, John McCloskey


Short film

DOG ALTOGETHER - DIARMID SCRIMSHAW, PADDY CONSIDINE*
Hesitation - Julien Berlan, Michelle Eastwood, Virginia Gilbert
The One And Only Herb McGwyer Plays Wallis Island - Charlie Henderson, James Griffiths, Tim Key, Tom Basden Soft - Jane Hooks, Simon Ellis
The Stronger - Dan McCulloch, Lia Williams, Frank McGuinness


The Orange rising star award (voted for by the public)

SHIA LABEOUF*
Sienna Miller
Ellen Page
Sam Riley
Tang Wei