Sunday, June 29, 2008

July 18

Post 820

Saturday, June 28, 2008


Copy: Win a VIP Camp Bestival experience with
SingStar. Get 4 free tickets, a limo, stylish double
decker bus to sleep in, and a picnic hamper.
“I'd stand for election to save Ireland from
the Freemasons" - Jim Corr
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 26.06.08 ISSUE 403
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to

* A new "star" for OK!
* Say sorry to a Sally
* Charts: Ne-yo v Coldplay for number one spot

>> Jacob the prisonbitch <<
Jeweller to find new client base

Hip-hop's most famous purveyor of bling,
Jacob the Jeweller, is off to prison for his
part in a rather cool sounding "interstate
drug ring". The man responsible for the
heinous crimes against accessories and
politically suspect obsession with wearing
diamonds by the rap and wannabe-black
(Justin Timberlake ect) pop community -
and the man behind Lil Kim's range of watches
is also the subject of rumours that he'd
started selling average pieces at outrageous
mark-ups. One famous rapper discovered his
fiancee's ring was worth less than 10% what
he paid for it and now others are getting their
pieces looked at to see if the sales were above

The Hawaiian creation myth suggests that the octopus
is the only survivor from a former alien universe.

>> BB's best friend <<
Another ludicrous nobody for OK!

Richard Desmond still seems to be Big Brother's
number one fan. He still gives work to ex-
wannabes Chanelle and Nikki, to everyone else's
incomprehension. And this year OK! shelled out 80k
to buy up week one reject Stephanie. Even
though there doesn't seem to have been another bid.

More: BB Dale with his top off:

Britney Spears' sister Jamie Lynn has called her
baby Maddie. Which is just brilliant.

>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week

Her reality show should ensure that she
never works again in her day job. So which
US actress's previous career was as a
high-class Hollywood hooker? And one of the
things that made her hate her ex-husband
was that he was happy to tell friends
about it.

Prince Caspian star Ben Barnes used to be in
a Eurovisionp-wannabe boy band called Hi-Rise.

>> Oops! <<
When sorry just isn't enough

JT writes:
"One of my mates was on a corporate golf day,
playing with three people he didn’t know. On the
first tee he hit a long low scuttling shot and cried
“Oops, that’s a Sally then!” One of the other
golfers said, What do you mean, a Sally? My mate
replied, "Well, you know, like that Sally
Gunnell. A good runner, but bloody ugly.

Cue Silence.........

"That’ll be Sally Gunnell, my wife", said
one of the others.

The Discoo sale has 60% off EVERYTHING! It is your
final chance to grab some amazing fashion bargains!

>> Snack attack<<
What the food critics really eat

AA Gill, at Woodall Services on the M1 near
Sheffield bought three packets of crisps
including Walkers Sensations, Thai Sweet Chili
and a grab bag of Ready Salted.

Like Dr Who, the octopus has three hearts.

>> World's best job <<
Wanted: gate for gatekeeper

Decades ago Mutrah, Muscat's main city, was
separated from the port by a huge wall with a
large gate. Every sundown the gate would be closed
and sealed till the next morning. When the authorities
connected the roads and had to drive cars to the
port and back the gate wasn't large enough. So they
knocked two giant gaps either side of the gate and
built the road through.

Of course you don't point out to anyone your job
is useless, so for years the officer whose job
it was to be in charge of the gate still arrived
at sundown, making sure the gate was sealed, before
driving back out through the huge gap.

Gareth Gates was on a Virgin flight from Las Vegas
to Gatwick this week. He sat in Economy (near the
back) and chatted to anyone who approached.

>> Things that make you go hmm <<
David Gest, octopus, disco sheds!

Porn in Arab countries:

Disco sheds! Needs sound on, and loud:

Octopus eats shark:

David Gest - pop star:

Rape quiz - how would you score?

>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 29th June

++ Number One
NE-YO Closer

++ Top Twenty
GLAS VEGAS Geraldine
COURTEENERS No You Didn't No You Don't

>> End Bit <<
Stuff about Popbitch

* Email stories, gossip:

* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:

* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.

* Web hosting by:

* Mail by aysabtu

Thanks to: AM, SW, LB, JC, systemaddict 1, PS
missbhavin, JT, LW

Old Jokes Home:
Q: What's the difference between a rock guitarist
and a jazz guitarist?
A: A rock guitarist gets to play three chords in
front of thousands of people.

Still Bored:
White tiger cubs:

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Read the book instead !

The Dark Knight - 1ST REVIEW !!

Heads up: a thunderbolt is about to rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies. The Dark Knight, director Christopher Nolan's absolute stunner of a follow-up to 2005's Batman Begins, is a potent provocation decked out as a comic-book movie. Feverish action? Check. Dazzling spectacle? Check. Devilish fun? Check. But Nolan is just warming up. There's something raw and elemental at work in this artfully imagined universe. Striking out from his Batman origin story, Nolan cuts through to a deeper dimension. Huh? Wha? How can a conflicted guy in a bat suit and a villain with a cracked, painted-on clown smile speak to the essentials of the human condition? Just hang on for a shock to the system. The Dark Knight creates a place where good and evil — expected to do battle — decide instead to get it on and dance. "I don't want to kill you," Heath Ledger's psycho Joker tells Christian Bale's stalwart Batman. "You complete me." Don't buy the tease. He means it.

The trouble is that Batman, a.k.a. playboy Bruce Wayne, has had it up to here with being the white knight. He's pissed that the public sees him as a vigilante. He'll leave the hero stuff to district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and stop the DA from moving in on Rachel Dawes (feisty Maggie Gyllenhaal, in for sweetie Katie Holmes), the lady love who is Batman's only hope for a normal life.

Everything gleams like sin in Gotham City (cinematographer Wally Pfister shot on location in Chicago, bringing a gritty reality to a cartoon fantasy). And the bad guys seem jazzed by their evildoing. Take the Joker, who treats a stunningly staged bank robbery like his private video game with accomplices in Joker masks, blood spurting and only one winner. Nolan shot this sequence, and three others, for the IMAX screen and with a finesse for choreographing action that rivals Michael Mann's Heat. But it's what's going on inside the Bathead that pulls us in. Bale is electrifying as a fallibly human crusader at war with his own conscience.

I can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker. Miles from Jack Nicholson's broadly funny take on the role in Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, Ledger takes the role to the shadows, where even what's comic is hardly a relief. No plastic mask for Ledger; his face is caked with moldy makeup that highlights the red scar of a grin, the grungy hair and the yellowing teeth of a hound fresh out of hell. To the clown prince of crime, a knife is preferable to a gun, the better to "savor the moment."

The deft script, by Nolan and his brother Jonathan, taking note of Bob Kane's original Batman and Frank Miller's bleak rethink, refuses to explain the Joker with pop psychology. Forget Freudian hints about a dad who carved a smile into his son's face with a razor. As the Joker says, "What doesn't kill you makes you stranger."

The Joker represents the last completed role for Ledger, who died in January at 28 before finishing work on Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It's typical of Ledger's total commitment to films as diverse as Brokeback Mountain and I'm Not There that he does nothing out of vanity or the need to be liked. If there's a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976's Network, sign me up. Ledger's Joker has no gray areas — he's all rampaging id. Watch him crash a party and circle Rachel, a woman torn between Bale's Bruce (she knows he's Batman) and Eckhart's DA, another lover she has to share with his civic duty. "Hello, beautiful," says the Joker, sniffing Rachel like a feral beast. He's right when he compares himself to a dog chasing a car: The chase is all. The Joker's sadism is limitless, and the masochistic delight he takes in being punched and bloodied to a pulp would shame the Marquis de Sade. "I choose chaos," says the Joker, and those words sum up what's at stake in The Dark Knight.

The Joker wants Batman to choose chaos as well. He knows humanity is what you lose while you're busy making plans to gain power. Every actor brings his A game to show the lure of the dark side. Michael Caine purrs with sarcastic wit as Bruce's butler, Alfred, who harbors a secret that could crush his boss's spirit. Morgan Freeman radiates tough wisdom as Lucius Fox, the scientist who designs those wonderful toys — wait till you get a load of the Batpod — but who finds his own standards being compromised. Gary Oldman is so skilled that he makes virtue exciting as Jim Gordon, the ultimate good cop and as such a prime target for the Joker. As Harvey tells the Caped Crusader, "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain." Eckhart earns major props for scarily and movingly portraying the DA's transformation into the dreaded Harvey Two-Face, an event sparked by the brutal murder of a major character.

No fair giving away the mysteries of The Dark Knight. It's enough to marvel at the way Nolan — a world-class filmmaker, be it Memento, Insomnia or The Prestige — brings pop escapism whisper-close to enduring art. It's enough to watch Bale chillingly render Batman as a lost warrior, evoking Al Pacino in The Godfather II in his delusion and desolation. It's enough to see Ledger conjure up the anarchy of the Sex Pistols and A Clockwork Orange as he creates a Joker for the ages. Go ahead, bitch about the movie being too long, at two and a half hours, for short attention spans (it is), too somber for the Hulk crowd (it is), too smart for its own good (it isn't). The haunting and visionary Dark Knight soars on the wings of untamed imagination. It's full of surprises you don't see coming. And just try to get it out of your dreams.

This is from Rolling Stone magazine

Online Fake Shemp

the online fake shemp* of independent film
the 26th June 2008 edition
You can read this online if you prefer
This week
Don't Miss
Pitching Skills Workshop
Festival Update
We Apologise
Smooth Negotiating
Free Article
Paid Work
4 Types of Filmmakers
Sexual History
Work it
Special Deal
Not a member yet? Click to join
Raindance Logo
We are in Edinburgh Film Festival today, the 26th.
Live!Ammunition! is at 7:30pm. Happy Hour from 6:30pm at the Delegates Centre.

See you there, or see you square.

With the election in Zimbabwe tomorrow looking like a travestry, how about Democratic Movies?

Brendan O'Neill has written an interesting article on how he has been raising money and making movies online.
Don't Miss

Have you seen In Seach Of A Midnight Kiss yet?

Our '07 Festival comments about the movie have made it onto the poster: The best American indie since Clerks.

Shot for the price of a top end laptop computer.

And it's been held over for a second week.

Last Chance Dov Simens

Dov Simens has decided to hang up his skates. His 2 Day Film School is presented for the last time on July 5/6.
telephone Low Budget Shooting Tip

If you want to get actors for your short or feature, you need to contact them. Getting actors' agent's details used to be difficult. Not any more - thanks to a terrific service called

This service has been around for quite a while. It is excellent - we have used it many times. It's no longer free. But for a few bucks you should be able to get the up-to-date contact details you need to get you going.
Rolodex One Night Stand For Filmmakers

Are you getting ready to shoot? Or getting ready to present your project to investors? If so, then you should get your budget and schedule together, cos you are going to need it.

What: Budgeting and Scheduling
When Tuesday 8 July 6:30 - 9:30pm
Where Arts Theatre, near Leicester Square Map
How Much Just £30 (Raindance members pay just £25.50 - find out how to join)
Call 0207 287 3833 to register or Book Online Now
Raindance Logo Raindance Film Festival Update

To all of you who have submitted films to the festival we thank you for choosing Raindance. It's now down to our team of programmers to work their way through the mountain of DVDs to determine the lineup for this year's festival.

We expect to inform you by the 29th August. Please do not call/email us before this date as our programme will not be finalised. We thank you in advance for your patience.

We will be looking for festival volunteers in the run-up to this year's event, to help out with everything from marketing to box-office handling, goody-bag stuffing and more. If you're interested in getting involved, keep an eye on the website as more information about specific roles will be posted soon.

The next Raindance Film Club will be held on Wednesday 23rd July at The Horse Hospital, Russell Square. Doors, as usual, will be at 7pm. Details of next month's film to follow soon...
"Raindance sincerely apologises for the publication of a letter published in the 19 June 2008 bulletin from Carl Schoenfeld to the editor of Screen International. A blind copy of the letter was sent to Raindance as a courtesy, so it was therefore published in error. Raindance wish to apologise further for any embarrassment this may have caused either party."

We have been so busy here at this week. If you, like us, only have a few moments to spare to watch something online, we recommend the World's Shortest Film Festival - Part 1 and
Part 2! With seventy short films in under 25 minutes, these two 'film festivals' are the quickest and easiest way to relax and enjoy any moment you have! Check them both out right now!

See Shane Meadows' 60 second rant here
tongue tied Smooth Negotiating

Never ever again get tongue tied when your back is against the wall.

Learn to pitch like the pros.

The Essentials of Pitching - a 3-part article
So You Want To Be Discovered?

We have 5 Fabulous Interns at the moment, all waiting to be discovered. This is Abiola's account of how she plans to tackle the mountain of fame and fortune.

Film Commission

Member Nicola Hollinshead's first career is acting. Many of you may have follwed her critcally acclaimed tour as the lead in Shirley Valentine. This week she's helping out a friends project. The Private Equity Foundation (PEF)has 15K to give to someone who can come up with a film that demonstrates how their charity can help get young people into film. Theirr mission is to empower young people to reach their full potential. We do this by investing both money and expertise from the private equity community, to help excellent charities achieve a step-change in their impact.

Purpose of commissioning films
- To show at PEF's annual reception in February 2009
- To demonstrate PEF's involvement with our charity portfolio, at the most practical level
- To help PEF's members and supporters understand the issues faced by disadvantaged young people in the UK
- To persuade people to give, and continue giving, to PEF.

The should be a 'public education' quality piece with a strong emotional content.

PEF will work closely with the film team to identify the appropriate portfolio charities and stories to cover.
Length 5 - 7 minutes
Budget: £15,000

Next Steps
Please send your response to this brief, no longer than two A4 slides, by 5pm on Monday 30 June 2008 to Julie Nesbitt at the Private Equity Foundation: They aim to set up meetings with interested organisations the following week to discuss ideas and take proposals forward.

CinemaThe 4 Types of Filmmakers

Hmmm. Just four? Read on.
Chris Wiatt Alumni

A huge congratulations to Chris Waitt whose new film, A Complete History of My Sexual Failures is set to open in the UK this Friday.

Chris attended several Raindance courses for writing, and directing.

His shorts have played in previous Raindance Film Festivals. Support Chris, and support his film. See it in a cinema this weekend. We saw it in Cannes. It is hilarious, touching, witty and heartfelt. A rare combination.

Check out the excellent offical website.
James Cameron Quote

"The film industry is about saying "no" to people, and inherently you cannot take "no" for an answer."

- James Cameron

Working the Net

Producer wanted - Aspiring screenwriter, Melanie Hunter is looking for any producers who may be interested in taking on a new project. She has a number of short, low budget scripts and an award winning feature screenplay available for production. Melanie will be in London, and available for meetings on Sunday 13th July 2008 and is available to contact via the following email address: Synopsis information and any further details available on request.
Member Nicola Hollishead, one of the most exciting new actresses, invites you to see her work in a new comedy 35 minute two hander at
King's Head theatre, 115 Upper street , London , N1 1QN, box office 020 7226 1916
Tickets £6/£5
The show lasts approx 35 mins.

Recent work has been with Julie Walters in BBC2's new comedy FILTH: THE MARY WHITEHOUSE STORY (May 2008) and playing SHIRLEY VALENTINE, the one woman show with TNT, Dublin in a highly successful 8 week run and tour of Ireland, which picked up excellent five star reviews...
" the performance of any actors life..."
Gerry Colgan, Irish Times...
" will rarely see a better solo performance"...
Michaelf Moffatt, Irish Mail on Sunday
Barry wants a job - but he needs to send it here


Terry wants your money - but he needs to send it here


Candice wants it all - but she needs to send it here
Truby 2008 The Blockbuster Season

The Blockbuster season is synonymous with summertime, big budgets -- and the myth genre.

Myth is used in more Blockbuster films than any other form, and it is always combined with one or two other genres as a means of updating old myths to current day.

Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the upcoming films The Dark Knight (written and directed by Raindance alumnus Chris Nolan) and WALL-E all follow the story beats of the myth genre.

Read some breakdowns here
Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man
3stooges * Fake Shemp
AKA: Shemp

Anyone appearing on screen whose face is not seen (either because of heavy makeup or camera angles) and who has no lines; can include stand-ins and extras.

The term originated with Sam Raimi and his colleagues, who borrowed it from Hollywood lore about a stand-in used to finish Three Stooges films after Shemp Howard's death.
martin_scorcese Trivia Question

When receiving the top award from the Director's Guild of America for this film, Martin Scorsese said that this "is the first movie I have ever done with a plot."

Click here for the answer
Raindance Logo
Joe Pearshouse and the Raindance team
Elliot Grove
Suzanne Ballantyne
Will Pearce
Jesse Vile
James Merchant
Natasha Carlos
Katherine Waters
Zoe Carter
Amelie Thille
Abiola Adeniyi
Chris Hill
Film Finance UK Film Finance Guide Special Deal Click Here

In Memory Of Noriaki Tsuchimoto

Thinking of a film course?
Get the Raindance Course Catalogue

Want to really help us at Raindance?

Help spread the Raindance word by clicking on the Forward email button below.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

IN DEPTH FILM REVIEW - Big Momma's House

Dear oh dear oh dear.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Creating Special Effects on a Low Budget
a hands-on workshop
Saturday/Sunday 19/20 July 10:00 - 6pm

This is a brand new course

On Saturday/Sunday 19/20 July from 10 - 6pm, special effects master Dan Martin will explain and demonstrate a variety of techniques to fill each frame of your movie with dazzling special effects.

This weekend is part lecture, part demonstration and part exercise.

Get more details here
The Raindance Guarantee

If you find that this course does not meet your expectations, let us know by lunch-time for a 100% no-questions-asked refund.
Horror Day One
Saturday 19 July 10 - 6pm

On the first day we'll look at all things gory. From cheap decapitations to Anthropophagus style innards, we'll cover it.
Want to achieve a Dr Butcher style arm impaling?
A pouring chest wound?
It's all in day one.
Get more details here

Call us on 0207 287 3833 to register, or Book Online Here
Why SFX is important

Film buyers tell us they always look at production values when they buy films. SFX is a great way to add production values.
Do it wrong, however, and your film will look cheesey.

Spend some time with veteran SFX specialist like Dan Martin - buyers will think you spend loads of cash. When you haven't.
Shards Day Two - Sunday 20 July 10 - 6pm

Focus on the Woo side of things. How to modify that prop gun to fire a six-inch muzzle flash? How do we make ricochets without hiring an expensive pyrotechnician?

Learn the necessary procedures for making indie film with weapons when it comes to police involvement. For those who didn't get enough blood in day one we'll be discussing which bit of strange Eastern European plumbing equipment can be modified to provide the exit splash for a ballistic suicide.

Get more details here

Call us on 0207 287 3833 to register,
Book Online Here
Where It's At
The Arts Theatre
Throw a dart at the map of London, and it would come through the ceiling of the Arts Theatre. Just off Leicester Square. Next to the Photographers Gallery. A map
How it works
- Doors open at 9:30, the class begins at 10:00am sharp.
- Coffee and tea on premises
- You will be given handouts and other materials on arrival
- Lunch at 1 - 2pm
- Each day finishes at 6pm
- Bar downstairs at the Arts Theatre
- Many lunch locations literally on the doorstep

We are passionate about filmmaking at Raindance.

We never present courses unless we are interested ourselves, or until we are confident that this course can offer the most amount of information, in the least amount of time and at the best possible price.

I personally believe this will be an outstanding weekend, and i hope to meet you there.

Will Pearce and the Raindance Team
Want to save 15% on this course?

Join Raindance. Annual subscription costs £50.00 and entitles you to a range of discounts and free stuff. Details are here.

To join, call us 0207 287 3833 or Book Annual Membership Online Here
Raindance Courses Work

Raindance alumni keep hitting the big time:
Alison Owen produced BRICK LANE
Ken Marshall produced LONDON TO BRIGHTON and THE COTTAGE
Mark Ezra produced WAKING NED
Charles Steel produced THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
Philippa Braithwaite produced SLIDING DOORS
Vadim Jean produced LEON THE PIG FARMER
Paul Brooks produced MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
Jeremy Bolt produced THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
Matthew Vaughn directed STARDUST
Julian Fellowes wrote GOSFORD PARK
Guy Ritchie wrote and directed LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS
Christopher Nolan wrote & directed MEMENTO
Edgar Wright wrote & directed SHAUN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ
Simon Hunter directed and hot THE MUTANT CHRONICLES
Jake West is directing DOGHOUSE with Danny Dyer
James Marsh directed the Sundance award winning MAN ON WIRE
Kirk Jones wrote and is directing EVERBODYS FINE with Rober deNiro

All took Raindance courses.

Check out Raindance courses here